


What We Inherit

by Linae_Liminae



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Clothed Sex, Complicated Emotions, F/M, Grinding, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, but it's somewhat complicated, but they might, previous shallura, some sexual content, takes place between season 3 episode 3 and the end of 4, the connections do not inherently depend on romance, who knows - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-31
Updated: 2018-03-31
Packaged: 2019-04-16 03:06:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14155311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Linae_Liminae/pseuds/Linae_Liminae
Summary: The unspoken bond of the Black Paladin and the Guardian of the Castle of Lions melts through expectations and leaves them at the mercy of its power.—Shiro’s disappearance leaves a deeper effect than what’s plain to see. Keith and Allura must deal with the consequences and from there, rediscover the meaning of a bond...and each other.





	1. etch-a-sketch

**Author's Note:**

> Dedicated to a dear friend, this is my unrestrained response that ship wars are bullshit and romance is just a park to play on.

It’s a surge of impulsive energy that leaves blue eyes staring wide into shocked indigo. At this distance, she can see the individual flecks of violet, mingling heavily with the storm clouds and unforgiving oceanic blue in his that reveal his nature and bind him to her. Like snapping a string and lighting a fuse, the subsequent explosion and aftermath rip far too much far too soon.

She can taste embers on his tongue, having so recently scalded and burned into her mouth without restraint. Her lips ache, bruised, and stung nearly raw with flames of kissing that fizzled through her skin until it encased her.

In this moment, wide-eyed and staring so closely into each other’s eyes, their lungs scream for deeper gulps of air. Neither of them dares draw too much so soon. They are so recently finished. They are so quickly beginning to understand.

Smoke remains from their draconic collision and it settles deep into her lungs, curls within her blood, and nearly enraptures her too fast, too quickly. This swift and shocked eternity burns up and with a blink, he pulls away and she dares to swallow.

Their limbs, once combined and tangled and so lasciviously wound up, pull apart shakily. She registers a trickle of sweat flow down her spine beneath her suit and shivers. He sinks to the ground, she straightens up and for a brief moment, they cannot bear to look at each other.

The Castle’s systems blip and ting softly all around them, filling the tension with touches of normalcy that seems far too foreign to relate.

Without his body encapsulating her, curling her firmly within the seat, rocking brutally against and between her legs, she feels out of place and cold. The explosion between them had scorched them so indefinitely it was almost unbearable. Now, it’s absence leaves her chasing whatever warmth she could conjure up in vain.

”What...?” He speaks and his voice is gruff and shaky, still raw from his earlier growls. “...Did we just do...?”

Allura feels the question snap alarm inside of her like a whip and the sting makes her tremble.

”I...” she squeaks and his eyes, swift like lightning, true to his character, land on her. She jolts—electrocuted by his attention—and recoils.

Allura lowers her chin, closes her legs firmly and sits in a weak attempt to be prim. Her eyes closed and she draws a shaky breath, her body still tingles, still trembles from the force that had rocked through them both with ecstatic violence.

”I don’t know...” she says. Opens her eyes and squeezes her fingers in her lap. The ghost of his movements (hips sawing up and down against each other, gripping hard and leaving bruises) haunts her skin and keeps her unsteady. “...Where all of that came from...”

He can see the truth and the lies spin murky in her nervous gaze and he stays clear. The short distance between her and him is a steep fall neither are prepared to venture close to.

“I...” Keith croaks. Eternities mingle with the nerves still firing into their flesh, leaving a turmoil of emotions. “We...”

Allura blinks and looks, sees him seeking deep within for answers. His lips are bruised red, kiss stung, and after a brief moment—pressed tightly in a line. She sees that line quiver and tremble in a new way, recalls their ferocity and quickness to bite clipped words turn that ferocity to bite clipped moans against her throat and leave marks on her mouth. 

“It’s late...we should...”

Finality. Alas, a conclusion. A resolution that was certain yet uncertain, open-ended and frightful.

Allura sees it and grabs it between her fingers and wills solidity into her bones and fortify her jellied nerves.

”Yes,” she overcompensates and now she’s all jittery and blushing with new alarm when his head snaps back up at her and catches on to the desire to run. “Late. Quite late. We s-should,” her voice stumbles, throat dry and weak from overuse. “...go to bed!”

Scarlet blooms under his eyes and Keith’s jaw goes slack. Allura gasps and jumps to her feet.

”Separately!”

her announcement is enough and she turns. She stumbles, joints and legs shaking like a newborn ku’tankulyu. She is grateful she does not fall and hears Keith scramble to his feet. His footsteps move in the opposite direction. Her feet land on familiar ground, far away from his station. Even after all this, the damage is extensive, stomach tingling and body feeling frayed at the edges.

She spins around, somehow pulling up a smile and it shatters into a breach—an alarmed look when she sees Keith has done the same by spinning on his side to look at her.

They gawk, standing on opposite sides of his station, and the act hangs heavy between them. It yanks their eyes far away from one another.

Allura brings her shaking hands to her face, flushed and sleek with sweat.

”Goodnight, Princess,” Keith mutters quickly and his footsteps click on the metal floor. Allura stares ahead, seeing stars but not seeing them.

Her chest is heavy, body swimming light and flighty and it bubbles in her throat until she cannot take it.

”Keith!”

He stops. Silence fills the hum and it threatens to choke her.

She sucks in another breath and turns her chin, cautiously peers at him from behind her shoulder and mess of silver hair. He looks at her, hands clenching and unclenching at his sides, and the string of raw power has made him fidgety.

Allura ignores the way his hair sticks up where she had tangled her fingers or the way his mouth squeezes shut—as if in complete reluctance to permit any more incriminating sounds to betray him.

She must be brave for them both.

”We’re going to have to talk about this...” she says. His eyes are so far away but she knows them now. They harden and he understands. “Soon.”

He remembers his courage and gives her a nod.

”Yes, Princess.”

He leaves and it's only when the doors shut behind him that Allura allow her knees to cave and she slides to the floor. Her fingers ghost over her lips, grip to her neck, feel the marks she cannot see and shudders.

_What did we just do?_

* * *

Soon is not a specific moment in time. Soon means later. Later could also be never. Never ever.

Yet even after sleeping nights and waking days and the pressing need for tactics to win a war despite the gaping wound of the team's new and forced dynamic, Allura remembers when she shouldn't. They give each other wide berth. Keep eyes firmly in opposite directions when they find themselves alone. Force their bodies to behave in neutral ways as to not attract suspicion. What magnetism existed before—the certain cause of their collision—turned polarity and now repelled them. They approached the team as they always did, needed the status quo to remain unaffected.

No one needed to know that at one point, Keith and Allura had collapsed on the seat where Shiro once sat and collided so roughly that it proceeded to haunt them into terrified silence.

She had made quick work of the evidence. The only thing to incriminate them existed in the feed of the Castle's surveillance. They had never removed their suits and the healing pods solved physical evidence of bruising and markings. Nothing existed, save the memories and the lingering moments where either of them are struck dumb by the static that enticed them and left them reeling. 

There is no real reason to speak of it. There is no reason to put words to it.

It can be easily explained as simply and medically as one could explain why stars erupt, collapse, or come into being. It is inevitable. In some way or another, it was meant to happen.

She allows Keith to explain that inevitability however he wishes, be it hormones, stress, the stark loneliness that clings to their hearts since Shiro went inexplicably missing.

Its true reason, however, hides under her tongue and taunts her with its heaviness. She knows he must soon understand. She knows, much like a star erupts, collapses or comes into being, there are stages of everything. She knows that this was yet another beginning, one that would not go away. An explanation would be the only way to give him answers when the next wave came. When the magnetism shifts once more and forces them to collide. It is her responsibility to explain and to provide the knowledge that would grant him closure or peace.

Yet, for the most insane of inexplicable reasons...  _she doesn't know how._

So when her body thrashes and burns under her sheets in the long hours of the night, Allura cowers and weeps. She cannot bear to hurt him.

Mornings reveal bags under his eyes and an exhaustion that frays at his edges. His suffering digs a divot under her tongue where the knowledge hides. She feels it hard enough to squeeze her throat and weaken her heart.

She must tell him.

Soon must come quickly.

* * *

 She feels it pull her one night and she rises like a ghost into the halls of the castle. There is an instant where she believes she is dreaming, curled in bed and living a waking dream that feels so real it must be stress that conjures it. Her feet glide over smooth metal floors, knowing of a destination even she doesn't know, and she follows. The halls, once familiar, twist and turn ahead of her until she cannot make sense of her direction. What an odd dream.

And then she turns and her feet stop moving and her eyes lift from the floor ahead and her brows furrow. Her eyes do not comprehend what they see. Optical illusions distort one's vision and it isn't until she closes them and snaps her attention that she suddenly realizes where she was. She looks up and—

Sees indigo eyes that stare back into her with a shock so reminiscent of that moment in the main Hull so long ago and yet so very very recently. Violet flecks melt and disappear within stormy skies and unforgiving oceanic blue. Allura feels a jolt stun her fully awake and she gapes.

"Allu—Princess..."

His voice is real. This is no dream.

"Keith," and she breathes and there is a moment where she feels the pull once more. Her heart bursts in a panic, flooding her body with fire. She tries to step back, her foot steps forward. Magnetism. and it is stronger this time. His eyes widen in alarm, half hidden by his hair, she knows he does not intend to step like she did. The distance becomes mere inches. Her mind moves too fast and she lifts her hands, surely to push him away.

They grab his collar, earth cotton soft yet rough in her fingers, and suddenly he's yanked close just as his hands grab her waist.

Her back collides roughly against the wall. His fingers sink into her nightgown and pull too hard, scratch her skin. Their mouths slot sloppily. The connection is instead just like the breaths now bursting from their lungs and mingling as they follow the surge. She feels the coarseness of his hair against the sensitive skin between her fingers and tugs. He's the first to make a noise. He growls into her mouth before her own head is yanked back and his lips give way to teeth on her lips.

Allura groans and arches her back. Heat spreads where her body rubs with his and the energy becomes frantic.

His knees knock hers open and their hips clack together. The sensation whips through her, bringing one of her knees up around his hips and one of his hands grips the juncture. Holds her steady. 

Her tongue bleeds into his, teeth digging into lips until they are plump and bruised. Her mind spins as he bucks and she feels it  _everywhere_ and with just enough force that it jars through her core all the way up into her throat and she gasps.

_"Stop!"_

He is off her in an instant and on the other side of the hallway before she can blink, stumbling back until his back smacks into the opposite wall. They gasp and heave and stare at each other, horrified and frightened and finally Keith digs one of his hands over his face.

"Sh-shit,  _fuck_ , Allura," Keith shudders and he looks down at the floor. "I... don’t know what the hell just came over me—I-I-I should go...I can't stay here..."

"Don't!"

His eyes snap back to her and his fingers drag down his cheek.

Allura shakes her head and she covers her mouth for a moment, unable to look away as he stares at her.

"Allura," he says and she can feel it—the intensity, the  _fear_ —and he still isn't running away. "What is  _going on?_ "

Allura closes her eyes, feels a tear slide down her left cheek and she lets out a shudder.

"We should've talked about this before," she whispers. Her knees weaken and she slides to the ground. "This is all of my fault, all of it."

Her hands rise and cover her face and she is weighed by so much guilt. The knowledge under her tongue threatens to burst, but she doesn't know how to let it go and it  _frightens_ her. But she must. She must.  _She must._

"Keith," she speaks and finally lowers her hands. There is an indescribable expression in his eyes that stares her down and nearly crumbles her nerve.  _She must._ Allura grips to the phrase and curls her fingers into fists. "I need to tell you what this means...but I cannot do it here."

Keith's head shakes softly, eyebrows furrowing.

"What do you mean?"

Allura shudders out a sigh and pulls herself up to her feet.

"Please... come with me."

* * *

 Her bedroom is not the best idea but it is the only place where there would be no surveillance to control or manipulate. She understands the inevitability of the pull. If they are to give in again they couldn't afford to be caught in somewhere so public again. Keith hesitates at her door but the hesitation doesn't last when she gives him promises of an explanation. It is the first time any of the paladins have been in her room... save Shiro.

"What I am about to tell you is not something I can easily explain."

She brings her knees to her chest on her bed. He has not dared to step any closer. She concentrates her gaze on his shoes and digs her fingers into her linens.

"There is a...connection. A powerful bond between us," she says and when he makes no move she proceeds. She hopes he keeps to his silence. "But not in the sense that you may want to believe. Keith, you are the new head of Voltron. The Black Paladin. There has and will always be a powerful bond between the Head of Voltron and the Guardian of the Castle of Lions. I had hoped that since I also became one of the paladins... that this bond would not latch on to us so fiercely. As princess and last living member of the Altean Royal family, I am bound to the forces of the universe that protect the Lions. This was passed down to me by my father shortly after he dispersed the Lions of Voltron out of Zarkon's hands. I did not understand what this meant until I first met you and the other paladins."

She blinks to see his eyes and finds them staring at the floor between them.

"Soon after you were able to form Voltron for the first time, I began to feel... strange surges that brought me close to you... but more specifically," Allura draws a breath, "t-to Shiro."

Keith's eyes widen before meeting her gaze, his lips part in shock.

"We..." Allura fidgets with the cloth by her fingers, digging hard with her fingernails. "...Shiro and I decided to keep this a secret... from the rest of you."

_"What?"_

She closes her eyes and tries to keep still.

"I know this may come as a surprise to you—"

"Come as a surprise to me?" Outrage brings power to his voice yet he does not raise it. "So—wait—are you telling me... you two...?  _You and me?"_

"I know..." Allura pleads softly, opening her eyes to beseech him. "I know and I am so sorry that you must learn about this like this..."

"Hold on," Keith's shoulders shift tight as he sucks in a breath, fingers clenching at his sides. "I need to get this straight. Are you telling me that there is some force pulling us toward each other—making us jump each other’s bones... _just_ because I'm the pilot of the Black Lion now? That all this time, you and  _Shiro_..." he breaks off and turns on his heel. Allura watches as he digs his fingers into his hair before pushing them down his face to press over his mouth. He doesn't look at her and stops pacing a moment later.

"What does this mean?" he asks behind his hands.

Allura winces and wraps her arms tighter around her knees. "While you remain the pilot of the Black Lion... you and I are... bound together. In the past, when Zarkon had been the Black Paladin, he would join in union with the Castle's guardian at the time. They simply joined in a ceremony in the main hull where they would bind their quintessence and fortify the oaths of the protectors. But I do not know how to perform this ceremony and it was only done between the Head of Voltron and the Guardian in a private manner so Coran or the records in the castle do not have the information... When I first experienced these sensations with Shiro we... had a similar experience in the main hull, but we were able to stop before it got out of hand and shortly after Coran gave us some counsel..."

Keith's hands pull away from his lips and he turns to look at her, eyes cold and distant. Allura bites down on her lower lip and swallows.

"Shiro and I would always do it here. Far out of prying eyes and in privacy. It was frightening at first but he never did anything that I was too scared to do. After some time it became natural and because of it, we were able to bond and understand one another on a deeper level. But since he disappeared... and you became the new Black Paladin... I just... I didn't know how to approach you."

Allura's voice breaks in her throat, leaving shards of it on her tongue. Tears well up in her eyes and she drops her head to her knees for a moment. She surges onwards, lifting her head quickly and she leans across the bed as she pleads, "I am so sorry, Keith. Please believe me. I never meant to keep this from you. Everything you feel, everything you've had to go through because of this... is because of  _me._ "

Her eyes clench tight, "I understand if you are angry with me, I understand... and I am sorry that you must learn about this in this way, but if there is someway I could make this easier on you if there's anything I can do to—"

She feels his hands on her jaw before she feels his mouth on hers. Allura's snap wide open in surprise and she realizes that he must have moved quickly, pressing his knee to the corner of the bed before closing the space between them. Allura blinks away tears and lets out a tight squeak of panic when he pushes them onto the bed. Her hands come up around his collar, and her mind and focus spin when she feels his knees cage her hips and one of his hands presses heavily on the blankets by her head.

He kisses her with abandon, breaking past her apologies and small manner of protests that come up and insist  _if he's sure if he is absolutely certain_ until even those stop and Allura gasps when the hand that held her jaw brushes down her neck and skirts down the side of her chest to grip at her hip.

He breaks away at that moment and she feels it again, that resurging fire—the snapping, fizzling  _pop_ that echoes in her ears when he peels his lips off hers—spread all the way to curl into her toes.

He stares down at her and there is something cold in his eyes that freezes her still.

"Tell me what to do."

Allura gapes at him, lips parting and closing dumbly. Keith's eyes narrow.

"If this is only because of the bond then I don't see a reason to waste time," he says and something about that wounds her more than if he'd outright rejected her. "You seem to have all the answers, right, Princess?" he says the title like it's a curse and Allura flinches at his tone. "So just tell me what you want from me and I'll do it."

"Keith...?"

"I actually thought I wanted you," he says and Allura's heart stops beating. "All this time, I thought what I felt was because I was somehow stupid enough to believe you wanted me too. I spent days and nights losing my mind thinking that somehow... I was falling in love with you."

The smile that parts his lips was like slicing open a wound. He lets out a soft huff, the ghost of a bitter laugh. She feels it pour over her.

"I'm glad you told me," he says. "Because now I can let my body give in to what it wants and know that it never had anything to do with me."

"This isn't what I wanted," she says, digging into his eyes, trying to find the words to convey the meaning still digging a brutal trench under her tongue. "I didn't want to cause you pain."

"Who says I'm in pain?" Keith leans back and Allura pushes herself back on her elbows to see him remove his jacket and shirt in one swift movement. Her mouth goes dry when she sees his skin under the pale blue light of her room. Her eyes land on scar over his right shoulder and collarbone and find a variety of scars scattered over his chest and abdominals. Her mind betrays her and conjures up an image of Shiro.

Shiro's body was covered in scars, crisscrossing in many ways that had left her gasping in sympathy. She had dragged soft fingertips over many of those scars and learned their stories. Keith has very few to count, and the largest one drew her attention to his neck where his hair curled and stuck out from. Where Shiro was broad, Keith is lean. Yet Keith's body carries a slender strength to it, built to withstand breakneck speeds and slip with agility.  His muscles do not protrude in bulk but cord and tighten beneath his flesh in their own form of beauty.

His pants hang low on his hips and her eyes stop at his hipbones and the muscles that clench as he straightens above her and meets her wide-eyed gaze with a jerk of his chin.

"How much more do you want me to take off?"

Allura's hands fist on the bedding beneath her and she looks away. "I do not want you to do this if you believe you are being forced, Keith."

"A bit late for that, don't you think?"

She stiffens and closes her eyes and for a moment she wants to push him away. But his proximity teases her senses, has her heart fluttering despite the guilt weighing it down. Even now, heat rolls under her skin forces hyperawareness where his knees pressed against her thighs. She can feel his desire radiating from him, surrounds him in a restless energy even while he stays still and keeps his hands far from her.

"You thought you loved me?"

Keith's eyes flash before narrowing and he shrugs a shoulder, his scar rising and falling with the motion. "I thought I was starting to."

It stings and Allura quickly slides a shaking palm to wipe the drying rivers of tears from her face.

"I will not push you," she says when she reaches up toward the line of clothing low on his hips. "Take off your pants and boots. You don't need to remove more than that."

She looks into his eyes and finds him staring at her, confusion mingling for a brief moment before he nods. His hands reach down and begin unbuckling his belt. Allura sucks in a breath and stills the desire to cry with a firm clearing of her throat. She retracts her hands and reaches up and pinches the fabric of her nightgown over her chest. The fabric unclips and she follows the line until it reaches her waist.

Keith pushes off of her to kick his boots off his feet and she turned to slide her nightgown off her shoulders and down her hips. There is a silence as they move on the bed, shifting and bouncing lightly as they push their hips up to remove their clothing. Allura throws her nightgown off the side of the bed and begins to gather her hair into a simple plait. She pretends her fingers are steady as they cross the locks of her hair into a series of knots. She hopes her breathing does not betray the ramming pulsing of her heart under her rib cage. When she looks up, she finds Keith staring at her from across the bed. His eyes stare at her expectantly, guarded and distanced.

Allura's teeth bit down on her lower lip and she gives him a short nod.

They are not fully naked. His hips are hugged by a thin fabric similar to the fabric Shiro wore. He had called them boxers.

Allura feels his eyes roam down her skin, painfully aware that this is the first time he has ever seen this much of her skin in one sitting. Her own pelvis is wrapped in a strip of blue fabric that hugs the highest point of her hips before sloping in a deep V to cover the juncture of her thighs. Her breasts are modestly covered with a matching strapless wrap of the same material.

This moment of scrutiny ends when their eyes meet once more and Allura feels it again, the pull that has them instinctively lean towards the other.

Biting the inside of her cheek, Allura pushes herself further up the bed and lays down on her back and elbows. Her movement sparks Keith to follow and he's crawling up after her and finally over her. Her heart speeds quicker and her throat feels tight. She swallows again when he hovers over her, this time his knees brush her thighs and his fingers graze over her arms. She sees his gaze flicker down to her mouth before looking back into her eyes. Allura tilts her chin just as he leans down, their noses brush, pull away... and their eyes meet again.

She tastes uncertainty on his breath.

"Kiss me."

He does and the tension melts beneath the heat of their skin and it sparks something wild in her body that has her hand grasping to his shoulder. Lips give way to teeth. Fingers give way to nails. And Allura is pressed into her pillows so suddenly that she gasps once before Keith dips back down and swallows it up.

* * *

 They're still shaking when he pulls away. His hands slide down her thighs where her legs had wrapped around his hips and squeezed him as they chased the passion into eruption. For a moment, Allura thinks he has not had enough when he pries her legs apart. His head pushes off from her collarbone and the death grip she had on his shoulders and back slackens as he pulls himself off her. Allura watches, ribs expanding and contracting with quickened breathing and says nothing when Keith crawls off her and turns away.

She lifts herself up on her elbows again, eyes wide as he moves toward the edge of the bed and begins grabbing for his clothes. He straightens his boxers with trembling hands and he begins to tug his pants over his legs. She sits up, voice tied sharp and quiet to the roof of her mouth as she sees him stand up and tie his belt back on. She's still quivering, body hot yet rapidly cooling as the reality of his actions sets in.

"How often do we need to meet for this?"

She doesn't know why but there's something in his tone that she hates enough to not respond immediately. Allura wraps her arms around her chest, still covered in her wrap, and shivers when her underwear slides wetly against her skin between her thighs.

"I don't know..."

Keith pulls on his jacket. "How often did you meet with Shiro for this?"

Allura digs her nails into her bicep and shakes her head. "Once a week... but it depends on the bond. You'll know it when you feel it."

"What if I feel it right now?"

Allura draws in a breath and spares him the explanation. It would only upset him more. "You can choose to come here whenever you wish or whenever it gets too hard to manage. Beyond that... you don't need to be with me any more than you want."

The bed dips as he sits down. For a brief moment she wonders if he's reconsidered leaving, but then he reaches down and begins to grab his boots. Allura keeps her face as straight as she can when he stands up and nods.

"Goodnight, Princess."

She waits until he leaves for her to reach down for her nightgown and slide it back on. Moments later she allows her pain to burst from her chest in tiny sobs she squeezes into her pillows before falling asleep. 


	2. mona lisa

She does not expect him to forgive her.

They meet two more times in the darkness of her bedroom since then. He knocks on her door late after lights out and she finds the pull insistent when their eyes meet across the threshold of her room. Still, there is something mechanical about it, something that lacks a warmth even when he grinds her against her pillows until they both seize up and cling tightly to each other. He gets up as soon as the pleasure fades and their muscles stop twitching, pulls his clothes back on, and disappears to his room without much need for conversation. Allura does not protest or push him away, and when the urges leave them, she feels cold and forsaken.

She fights from comparing him to Shiro. But the experiences are night and day.

Shiro's awkward touches had grown tender and gentle with time. Their voices would discuss the events and concerns of the day, focusing on strategizing while they could. It had been a means to lower their guard and keep her from getting too nervous or worked up. It was unusual but with time they had grown accustomed to one another, more attuned to the sensations of their flesh. It had become less about seeking completion and more about enhancing connection. Shiro's kisses stopped feeling mechanical or simple and suddenly had become more attentive. His voice, gruff at first when the surge took over too fast or too deeply, softened and opened, blossoming with questions and suggestions, encouraging her to voice her desires and to find comfort in his touches.

But Shiro is gone.

She cannot describe their connection to love like Keith had admitted and it pains her the more she thinks of it. Perhaps at one point, it may have started to go in that direction, bleeding past simple concern and into touches away from the bedroom that surprised her. The time he had reached up and grasped her hand in the main hull had served as an abrupt change in the paradigm between them. Her own breath caught in her throat when she had seen him gaze at her with profound concern and empathy.

_"I know how you feel, but you have to step away for a while. It's what's best for everyone."_

It was different. It was new.

It had been the first time he had touched her despite the discourse and the moments where they'd argued and disputed against trusting the Galra. Yet, despite it all, he never held it against her. He found her dutifully and brought them both to the edge through it all.

Perhaps there was a love there...

But the surge does not respond to the feelings of the heart, only the demands of what was necessary. The bond demands connection and it does not wait for her heart to mend. Even now, despite their new and somewhat unspoken agreement and Keith's visits, it grows more insistent. She allows the bare minimum to be satisfied and perhaps she is a coward for not telling Keith the full truth to their circumstance. But she is living a life in which she is expected to give without restraint... certainly, there must be some things she can afford to keep?

* * *

 

Something changes shortly after their return from the alternate reality. 

It is not a palpable change. She does not recognize it, too preoccupied with the heaviness that compacts her into a tiny ball on the steps of her station. Even despite her desires to cry, her eyes do not bring tears. There is a weariness in her bones, seeping into her heart and leaving her feeling tired. The others are ensuring the state of their Lions, speaking with Coran about what they had seen and heard, about the horrors their alternate selves had committed in that other universe. Allura leaves them to tell him, unable to find the strength in her heart to even stomach the words.

How can she?

How can she ever tell him that the closest thing to home, the closest thing to their old lives was sucking the life out of millions of planets and people throughout that universe?

What a sick joke...

And now, because of her naivete and her absurd belief that she might be able to see Altea once more, Lotor has in his hands a new trans-reality comet. This is all on her.

Just another thing to add to the growing list of things she was responsible for.

It is in this self-imposed silence that Keith finds her, sitting alone and with her hair cast all around her in a makeshift protective blanket. She does not need to turn around to know it is him. She feels his footsteps and knows them to be his before he ever speaks or announce his arrival. She closes her eyes and takes in a breath, bracing herself.

"Allura," he speaks her name and she feels nothing but stillness inside. "You did the right thing. You couldn't let Hira get that ore."

She scowls, "But now Lotor has it."

"You didn't know."

Allura's fingers clench in her lap. She meets his gaze and does not focus on the softness in his eyes. She cannot handle more disappointment. She hardens her voice and finds the will to move. "That is the problem. We never know and that is exactly why my father sent the Lions away so many years ago."

She looks far away from him and lets her hands hold firm at her sides. "To avoid this reality..."

She cannot hope for the ideals of a universe that is never meant to be.

"I finally understand."

"We'll get it back."

"But if we don't?" She faces him with a frown and a hardness in her eyes. She doesn't hesitate and presses the severity of her failure over him. Her desires for her home were responsible for the Galra to now possess the greatest threat to their only advantage in this war. He says nothing for a long moment. Allura gathers her helmet from the floor, lips pressed into a hard line as she straightens and turns away. She brushes past him and keeps her eyes on the floor. He lets her go and for the first time in a long while, she's grateful for the solitude.

* * *

 

The hum inside of her does not peak with persistence late that night.

Her heart holds her down from doing much more aside from removing her armor and curling up into a ball on her bed. Her paladin suit hugs her frame with enough warmth to withstand the demands of deep space. Yet despite it, she curls her arms and legs tight to her chest. Her eyes follow imaginary lines on the walls and the energy in her core prods at her to move, to seek, to find. She doesn't bring herself enough to care. It isn't important right now.

A soft knock on her door breaks her from her silent reverie. Allura closes her eyes and feigns sleep, hoping that her lack of interest is enough to dissuade whoever was knocking at her door.

It comes again and a sigh parts her lips. Allura rises from the bed, feet padding softly on the floor as she passes her armor and boots.

"Coran, I'm not in the mood," she begins, lifting her hand up to press to the panel on her door. It parts with a hiss. "We can talk about the other Altea... Oh."

She comes face to face with Keith and the hum from within perks up. Allura pushes it down and she meets his expression flatly, noting how he was still in his suit and armor.

"Keith..."

He takes in her appearance with some surprise, not expecting to see her with her suit on or perhaps not expecting to find her so unresponsive. There is that same expression from before, with his eyebrows curling softly under his hair and his eyes crinkling with something akin to pain... or pity. God, she hopes it isn't pity.

"I...wasn't expecting you," she admits softly and lowers her chin. They had recently met their needs just before the mission that took them to the other reality. She isn't expecting him to show up for another few days. In all of these things, at least with this, he is consistent.

"I wanted to see you."

She blinks up at him, surprise flashing in her eyes before her expression flattens once more. "Is something the matter?"

Keith draws in a breath before he takes a step forward. Her body is drawn in, the magnetism is unsatiable and makes her fingers twitch in anticipation. At this distance, she can begin to see the violet flecks within the storm of his eyes, sees the way they roll with the oceanic blue that presents a tumult of emotions that only he can embody without being crushed by their weight.

"Can we talk?"

She steps aside and he breaches the threshold. The door closes with a hiss.

She follows him deeper inside her room, brushing past him when he stops a few feet in front of her bed. She walks the last few feet and sits down.

"What do you want?"

Her voice is quiet, a soft murmur that only gathers his attention, yet she sees his hands flinch as if she'd shouted. She does not dare look up at his face.

"To say, I'm sorry."

Her heart leaps to her mouth and she snaps her gaze to him. He sees her staring down at her, the tumult of emotions rolling together so fiercely, she's momentarily struck dumb. He lowers his head and drags a hand through his hair, letting it stop on his neck and hang there for a moment before he nods.

"I've been cruel to you this entire time. I should have known that this bond... all of this wasn't—isn't your fault. You are just as affected if not more than me by all of this. I didn't know how to think or how to even believe what you'd told me about you and Shiro. I am just as much to blame for the lack of communication between us before you told me about the bond we now have. I... I tried hard to not feel like I'd been used...and yet I've been using you to somehow justify what this does to me. I tried to convince myself that what I felt was only because of this thing. That it would've never happened had Shiro never disappeared."

His shoulder sagged, voice heavy at the end and he drops his hand to his side. "The truth is, I do care about you, Allura. I've cared about you since we learned about you and this war you were thrown in. I've cared about you and what you entrusted to us to do... and I cared, way more than I thought to admit when I realized I was Galra. It... _mattered_ to me what you thought about me and it still matters to me. I don't think you understand how much it does. But when you accepted me for all I was—who I was—even though you had every justifiable reason not to..."

"Keith—" his name escapes her in a breath just as he takes a step towards her.

"It made a difference to me. No one has ever done that for me since Shiro... accepted me into a family like you did back then. You... you are important to me, Allura. So when all of," he trails off motioning with his hands over his body and then to her, " _this_ started happening. When I grabbed you and you grabbed me and we kissed and I pushed you into Shiro's chair back in the main hull... when we  _collided_ for that first time..."

A fierce shiver coursed through her body as he says that and clenches a hand over his chest, "I thought that I had gone too far. That I was becoming like Lance or  _something_ , and I had to stay away from you. That all of your support and belief in me was just that and not a sign that I was  _more_ to you..."

He takes another step and then he's kneeling down before her, and there's something she's never seen in his eyes before. Something she's never seen in Shiro's eyes before. Something entirely new and it fills her chest with alarm and five other emotions she cannot name.

"I was so busy focused on losing Shiro that it never fully occurred to me you'd lost infinitely more than I have."

Allura's shoulders tense up as Keith extends a hand to her.

"I want to make this right," he says. "I don't know how but I want to, and this isn't because of some surge or pull or whatever you want to call it. I want to and I don't want you to feel like you have to be alone in this or any other reality. Not while I can be here for you."

There is something in her that shakes and begins to tremble. Allura gazes down at his hand and feels her own hand lifting towards him. Her chest caves and suddenly she's biting down tears and lowering her head to her chest. She falls from the bed, knees crashing hard against the floor as she swings her arms around his shoulders and digs her face into his chest. She hears him exhale, arms slowly gathering around her waist before holding her close.

"I was such a fool," she sobs into his chest, forehead pressed hard against the hard curve of his armor. "I should have known that Hira and the other Alteans were nothing like the home I'd lost. I should have never allowed myself to believe that it could've been real, that I would return home and see it all like it once was." His hands stroke her hair, digging into her scalp and squeezing as she clings to him.

"I've had to be so strong for all of you. I'm so sorry that my actions caused you pain." She feels him turn his head, breathe soft shushing noises into her ear.

"It's alright," he murmurs, voice soft and gentle. "I'm responsible for hurting you, too."

Allura shakes her head and pulls away, reaching to grab his face as she seeks his eyes, "You are important to me, Keith. More than you know. I don't want you to ever believe that I would manipulate you or your heart for anything. Your heart, your soul, all that you are—you matter to me, too."

Keith gives her a smile at that moment and when he leans in she expects him to kiss her, but she is surprised when she feels him press his forehead against hers.

"I'm glad," he says softly and Allura hiccups as her tears and pain drain away. "Thank you, Allura."

He pulls away for a moment and Allura closes her eyes when she feels him press a kiss to her brow, then a kiss to her cheek. She doesn't know if she moves to catch his lips then or if he had aimed for the next, but when their lips press into each other, there is no devouring need to mold and rub and tighten until they erupt. The flames that sparked and fizzled with ferocity are replaced by a smoldering warmth that surrounds them and permits their touches to remain soft and gentle.

At some point, Allura pulls away, her hand on his shoulder and other hand brushing the bangs from his face. He meets her gaze with an open expression that takes her breath away. She leans back in and the kiss they share holds some newer meaning, one that makes her chest constrict and expand in a way she doesn't expect. Keith seems taken aback by it but when she blinks up into his eyes, his focus is on her lips and he closes the space quickly.

The armor that encases him slowly falls to the floor in soft clatters as they learn to explore the bond together.

In the dim blue light of her bedroom, Allura allows his hands to peel the suit from her skin and sink her into the bed with a new reverence. The mechanical touches and rough grinds she had grown accustomed to expecting from him were all lacking here. While he doesn't try to push her undergarments down her skin, there is a new feeling that comes when he surrounds her and lets his hands explore the dips and curves of her body.

Allura runs her hands up and down the dips and curves of his muscles, caressing without needing to bite down or rip and take. Their breathing does not speed up past the soft panting shared between their mouths. She glances up at him and finds him staring down at her. It's all they do for a long moment. Stare and gently trace fingers around their edges and say nothing.

Legs threading together, Allura finds herself tucked into his chest as they lay side by side. She feels his arousal like she feels her own, but there is no urgency this time. There is no need to rock too hard or push too fiercely. Keith surprises her with quiet observations, leaning down to slide a kiss against her cheekbones or to flutter against her eyelids. She finds a comfort in the space of his arms, on that beat strongly beneath her fingertips and pumped life through his every limb and kept the gaze in his eyes sincere and enrapturing.

Her fingers trace down his throat and slide softly over the scar on his shoulder and collarbone.

"Will you tell me the story for this one?"

Keith's eyes flicker down to her hand before meeting hers once more. He gives her a soft nod and gathers her hand in his, never moving it from its place over the mark on his skin.

That night, Allura falls asleep as Keith retells her the story of his trials in the Blade of Marmora, lulled by the deep cadence of his voice and the vibrations of his chest. She feels him shift a little under her and she shifts along until they're comfortable enough to slot close together. One of his hands strokes soft circles on her shoulder and Allura sighs as she closes her eyes and falls. Falls asleep under the pressure of his hand—rough and calloused and distinctly his—holding her hand to his chest.

Falls asleep.

And perhaps falls a little bit in love with him, without meaning to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading! I may explore this idea further upon Shiro/Kuron's arrival. I'm slightly interested in what that would do to this relationship building between them. But, we'll see. If you want to read more about this, go ahead and drop me a comment or kudos! Thanks again!


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